Da Lat - Last Day

Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Posted by TwoLively

This morning for breakfast, my sister-in-law, The Travel Agent, saw something on the menu that she knew I would like (the menu was written in Vietnamese.) It was sort of a spicy beef soup served with a crusty french bread baguette. She was rather disappointed because her mom makes it as a thick gravy, instead of a thin soup--but, since I've never had it to compare, I thought it was delish!

We started by going to Flower Park...which is a park...that has...flowers...as the name implies. Boy, there were a lot of stairs! The flowers were very pretty. The poinsettias had silver droplets of water on their red velvet leaves--so beautiful!

We visited Datanla Waterfall, which features an attraction called Coaster Bob. We weren't really sure what kind of a ride it was--but, we knew the ride led down to the waterfall, and it was either a) take the ride or b) take the stairs. Hello, no-brainer! To our sheer delight, Coaster Bob was an amazingly exhilarating, thrilling (German-made) bobsled ride. The track was 800m long, and it curved and winded down through a forest. Each coaster rider controlled the speed of their individual coaster with a lever-breaking system. The bobsleds could go up to 40km per hour, but felt much faster! It was sooo much FUN--Tootsie proclaimed it was the best thing she had ever done in her life! We rode the ride twice (and, if The Travel Agent, and Glinda weren't waiting at the top for us, I'm sure we'd STILL be on the ride!) The scenery was beautiful, and as the mountain air rushed by, it made you feel so alive! On the second ride, my seatbelt came undone, which added a whole 'nother element of thrill to the ride. Today was the one-year anniversary of my pacemaker/defibrillator combo, and what a memorable way to celebrate (technically, my doctor said I'm not released to ride rollercoasters--sudden thrills can "give me a therapy" aka shock the hell outta me--but she never said anything about riding bobsleds... ;)

We had so much fun riding Coaster Bob that we almost forgot to gaze at this:

Waterfall view ~ MarcoPolo with some sort of Yeti creature (locals--before and after us--posed for free, but good ol' MarcoPolo had to pay for his pose! Sucka!)

For lunch, we stopped at a restaurant that advertised they served Western food (liars!) MarcoPolo ordered "chicken legs." We assumed--falsely--that it would be the delicious pink glazed chicken that The Travel Agent's mother makes. His dish was the last to arrive, and it was a plate of....chicken FEET! Boney, clawey, grody, tangled chicken feet! There are some women who can visualize their way to a pain-free birth; bring on the Morphine, 'cause I'm not that kind of woman! I tried so hard to pretend there weren't chicken feet on his plate. I even tried looking away. Nevertheless, I started gagging and retching (which the kitchen staff found amusing!) BTW: MarcoPolo said there was no meat; it was like eating crunchy chicken skin. However, the flavor was one of the best flavors he's ever tasted in his life!  

Bon Appetit! These pictures were taken AFTER I left the table... (Look at how the feet are slightly padded. Gross, no?)

Food is always a crap-shoot. Tonight we went to the Chocolate Cafe, a Western cafe, for dinner. They offered croissant sandwiches, crepes, Vietnamese food, pizza...something for everyone (avocado shakes were even on the menu, except it's out-of-season.) The prices were reasonable, and the food quality and presentation was fantastic! I ordered shaken beef, which looked exactly like the food I had for lunch, which went by a different name (not that I'm complaining: it was yummy at both places!) I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter what you order: restaurants in Vietnam will give you what they want to give you! Oz told me that the next time I order, I should ask for "the usual" -- that, or shut my eyes and randomly point at something on the menu. To our surprise, rice rarely comes with our food; it has to be added ala carte.

Random Things:Tonight as we were walking along, MarcoPolo saw the sign "photocopy" and thought it read "pho-to-copy." We better get home soon because we're losing our language!

Tootsie tried to thank The Travel Agent's Sister (in Vietnamese) and used the wrong inflection (her voice went high, instead of staying level), and accidentally told her, "You don't have lice." Um...yeah...that too!

 -----

We are leaving DaLat tomorrow at 5 AM, and heading back to Ho Chi Minh (Sai Gon.) It's about 120 miles as the crow flies...4 hours by train...and 7-9 hours by car, depending on traffic...so you KNOW we're looking forward to it! We'll stay in Ho Chi Minh, while The Travel Agent and her siblings will go back to their parents farm. We'll be taking on Sai Gon...gulp...alone (so there's bound to be some adventure there!) We'll stay there for about 3 days, then we'll meet up with the family for New Year's festivities.

--TwoLively

Hello Sai Gon....

Thursday, January 19, 2012
Posted by TwoLively

At 5 AM, we hopped aboard Emergency Exit and headed to Ho Chi Minh (formerly known as Sai Gon.) Instead of traveling down the coastline, we headed through the central portion of Vietnam--so we hoped the road would be better. For the first hour, we navigated precariously windy mountain roads in the dark (which was a mixed blessing.) The roads were just as bumpy, and it was about seven hours of nonstop vibration, interspersed with the occasional catch-some-air-and-bounce-right-out-of-your-seat kind of potholes (words just can't convey how rough it truly was... Tootsie called it "4-wheeling on crack".)

We stopped for breakfast and a potty break (NOT a squat toilet--whew!) at a truckers convenience store (more upscale than that sounded... Better than a Flying J's or Loves.)  We bought some freakishly large and sweet grapefruit sections. Tootsie was jonesing for some chocolate, so she daringly bought a few chocolate-looking muffins from the display case. After we left and were traveling down the road once more, Brother noticed the muffins; he told us the store had refused to sell him the SAME muffins because they were "too old." Not good for Vietnamese, but apparently *just right* for Americans! Rrrr! The muffins were discarded, and Tootsie was out 14,000 dong (less than a dollar--but still--it's the principle of the thing!)

The central portion of Vietnam has dense foliage, and looks like the Vietnam we hear about/see in the movies. We passed an area where rubber trees were grown--and we saw workers tapping rubber from the trees. We stopped to take pictures of ginormous boulders that appeared out of nowhere. And, because our amusement always revolves around someone else's gastric distress: MarcoPolo experienced the panic of needing a restroom. When cousin said "10 minutes" until the next rest stop, we felt fearful--but to our amazement, Cousin's "10 minutes" was only 11 minutes (although that last minute seems like an eternity when you're the one in distress!) To our evil delight, MarcoPolo got to experience the joys of a squat toilet. And, at this pitstop, we also saw some people...grooming???...where Tootsie's previously uttered phrase "you DOn't have lice" would be appropriate.

Huge grapefruit sections...ginormous rock formations...
rubber trees...lice pickin'...his-and-her-toilet paper pose (we learned if you don't carry your own tp, you are out-of-luck!)

We stopped for lunch and shopping at a place that looked like a small mall (more like a VF Factory Outlet.) Before you entered the main store, your purse had to be Saran Wrapped into a safety sealed bag. Tootsie's backpack wouldn't fit into the shrink-wrap machine, so she opted out, and headed to Pizza Hut! For the record, Vietnamese shop the same way they ride scooters--crazy, line jumping, cart crashing, small space fitting, goal-driven shopping. The Travel Agent purchased some Mamy Poko Pants, aka diapers, for our 3 year-old nephew. She accidentally forgot about kilograms vs. pounds and bought diapers sized for a 10 year old! Meanwhile, Cousin rushed us along, so we didn't have time to linger at this mall (we started to connect the dots and realized Cousin always had a hidden agenda; we noticed Cousin didn't put our luggage under the bus, and saved this cargo space for the stuff he bought along the way. Then, on the way to Sai Gon, we detoured to his house so he could drop off his purchases. On the last day, Cousin had already been paid, so he was ready to conclude our day early!)

We finally arrived in Sai Gon...sweltering hot (no breeze), crowded, busy, noisy, dirty...a big city, indeed! Our hotel was slightly more expensive than previous hotels ($40 vs. $22.50) but sooo worth it! Our rooms were extremely clean; they had either jacuzzi tubs or multi-head walk-in showers, flat-screen tvs with cable, round eco-flush toilets, blow-dryers (finally!)--and it included a free breakfast buffet to boot. Glinda wasn't thrilled with big city life, and we all agreed that 1 1/2 days in Sai Gon would be enough, and as much as we'd miss the deluxe accommodations, we would leave a day early.

Shower...bed...ergo-toilet...blow dryer

We unpacked and headed across the street to the Ben Thanh Market. There were signs warning us of pick-pockets, and The Travel Agent had previously warned us many times to watch our valuables (I don't carry money on me...but hey, who couldn't use a good free groping!) It was late afternoon, and the place was crowded, sweltering hot. As we walked down the tiny, overpacked aisles, there were shouts of "Madame! Madame! Many size! Many color! Big variety" or "Big Budda, whatcha lookin' for?" and the vendors physically groped and grabbed every single one of us, trying to pull us into their stall. It felt like we were walking through a spanking machine!

We didn't videotape our initial walk-thru, which was extremely grabby and intense. Later, when we got our bearings and decided to videotape, the aisles weren't as packed as the first aisles, so we couldn't recreate the intensity. With that in mind, here's a video (imagine it x10!):

The stench inside was overwhelming: we smelled pockets of air that reeked of b.o., bodily fluids, fish, feet--fortunately this blog doesn't have smell-o-vision! (If a locker-room and a brothel had a baby...) We gamely walked up and down a few aisles, and nearly passed out due to the heat...and smell...and claustrophobia... Meat and various live sea-creatures sat out in the open air. Vendors napped in booths; some hired extra helpers who gave the literal meaning to "working under the table." We saw pedicures and manicures being given in the middle of aisles, and right next to food preparation, too. So many interesting sights to behold. It was stimulation overload! On the way back to our hotel, Glinda got goosed!

Shoppin' - Woman literally "working under the table" (see her leg?) - Sleepin' on the job
Flowers - Crowded aisle - Glinda with creepy dolls

Try crossing this traffic:

For dinner, we finally found a good Pho restaurant--a chain called "Pho24." We didn't realize there was one located almost across the street from our hotel, and we ended up walking over a few blocks, to a different location. However, it was well-worth the (unnecessary) walk! It was probably the most delicious and safe thing we've eaten so far. Glinda, our non-Pho lover, ordered a porkchop, which she had to eat with a spoon!

Buh-Bye Sai Gon....

Friday, January 20, 2012
Posted by Tootsie & TwoLively

As previously mentioned, we were eager to see the sights of Sai Gon--then head back to the spot where we originally began our trip, the city of My Tho (because it was quieter and more laid-back...our safe, happy place.) We brainstormed and decided which Sai Gon attractions we'd like to see (earlier, Cousin told us there was a silkworm farm in Sai Gon, but unfortunately we couldn't find any info on where it was located.) The top Sai Gon attractions we wanted to see were within walking distance of our hotel.

"Hi" Napkins (when found) are always folded into small triangles...Oz translating into his phone...
Our navigators debate the course...Street vendors (notice the intricate carved messages on the watermelons...and the coconuts had carved bases, too)

We started off our day by heading to the Presidential Palace. It was a huge building...with no air-conditioning, and no breeze! The main elevator was out-of-order, so we had to fight a throng of school children for the remaining elevator. There were microphones for the tour guides to use, and since we were on our own self-guided tour, Oz made use of the equipment. To our surprise, we heard Oz's familiar voice broadcast over the speakers, welcoming us to his palace. Later, Tootsie defied the posted sign, and *almost* touched the piano. Tootsie and TwoLively opted not to trek down to the bunker, so they found some chairs outside in the shade, where there was a breeze. While Tootsie contemplated running into the royal fountain, TwoLively fell asleep with her mouth wide open (twice--and nearly fell out of her chair!)

The last pictures are of the underground bunker, and the tank is a replica of the one that crashed thru the gates,
overtaking the Presidential Palace...the fall of Sai Gon.

After causing enough rucus at the palace, we decided to punish ourselves by going to the War Remnant Museum. There is much to say--and not to say--about "historical truths" served up with an (American) family-sized side of guilt. Who knew that all birth defects in Vietnam stem from one source: Dioxin (aka Agent Orange.) Nasty, terrible stuff! The full recap of this museum will be discussed in an open forum, at Family Travel Night. On a sidenote: we knew the museum closed for lunch, but we were caught offguard when precisely at noon, a bell rang, and all the museum lights went out!

Airplanes...a mother crosses a river with her children to escape...a soldier cries when he learns people he'd talked to minutes before were killed.

On the walk home, we decided to stop by the Water Puppet Show, to pre-purchase our tickets. We knew we were in the general area, but the map did not show precise locations. MarcoPolo would like our readers to know we WERE NOT lost! We simply did not know the specific location... Here is where I'd like to record a smarmy, special note for all posterity to read:

                                            On Friday, January 20th, TwoLively was right! 

In a moment of serendipity, I turned the map, noticed the side street, and realized it was tucked back in the middle of the block. Yes, bless my sweet dippity, I was right!

The Water Puppet boxoffice was closed, but we sat out front anyway, perplexing the guards, trying to catch our breath and cool down. It was 1 1/2 hours until the boxoffice opened again, so Oz and Monte graciously offered to walk back to the boxoffice to purchase our tickets (while some of us had a DELICIOUS nap!)

As we walked home, MarcoPolo and Monte trailed slightly behind the group. We passed several hair salons, where the women wore suspiciously low-cut, micro-mini pleather outfits. Our suspicions were confirmed when MarcoPolo and Monte later told us that they--the BALD men--were offered a "shampoo."

We stopped at a frozen yogurt shop, and most of us ordered club sandwiches, which had a piece of ham, egg, and cheese--but was tasty nonetheless.

Resting on steps..."Safe" place to shop...Dragon hedge...
"Club" sandwich...Shampoo, baldie? (Marco took pictures on the sly)

In the evening, we made it back to the Water Puppet Show. Before it began, we sat down outside and waited. As we were standing up, we noticed RATS! running along the wall behind us. We went inside the theater, and the puppet show began. The stage was a pool of water, with a screen behind it. On either side of the stage, there were people who played instruments, sang, and did the puppet voices. Above the stage, we saw a rat run across the curtains and down the wall...which kept us on edge for the rest of the play. The play was a series of individual, unrelated scenes. In one scene, two birds meet, an egg pops out of the water, then it turns into a baby bird. In another scene, farm workers planted crops, and green rice grass grows up out of the water. The water puppets did interesting things, too--like blow smoke out of their ears. We were always wondering: how'd they do that with puppets?

Return of Cousin

Saturday, January 21, 2012
Posted by TwoLively

We needed to get from Sai Gon to My Tho. We contemplated going by water taxi, mini van, etc.--but we had too much luggage to take. The Travel Agent talked to Cousin, who said he would take us. He had another tour group to pick up, but he could take us as well. We paid him directly (instead of the bus company), so we realized Cousin was doing a lil' side business...except Cousin didn't factor in our luggage, and there wasn't enough space on Emergency Exit. After a long, animated discussion between Cousin and someone from the bus company, we were told our luggage would be sent separately. NO WAY! We refused to part with our luggage, so we were moved to a second, larger bus. The bus driver made several stops, packing more and more backpacking granola crunchers onto the bus. Oz sat at the front of the bus, guarding our valuables, while the cool kids sat in the back! Tootsie tried to nap (aka: she shut her eyes, mentally removing herself from the situation)...MarcoPolo zoned...and Glinda and I (TwoLively) gabbed the whole way! We realized how sad it was that we had to travel halfway across the world to really talk and get to know each other better. Sigh.

We were told there would be a mandatory 1/2 hour rest stop break, where we could buy tourist souveniers--handicrafts by handicaps (it actually said something to that effect on the sign...so we're not that bad. Ok, yeah, we are.) Tootsie was feeling a bit Oppositionally Defiant, and when they announced everyone needed to get off the bus, she refused to move. Cousin, to his credit, came onto our bus, and turned on the A/C for us. He kept saying it was ok, because he was a friend of the driver. He also removed the sticker that MarcoPolo had sneakily placed on Monte's back (he literally had our back.) So, Cousin tried to get back in our good graces...but we still aren't going to invite him to the Family Reunion this year.

All-in-all, the 1 1/2 hour drive took over 3 hours! We paid 1/4 of the price--but we all agreed we should've paid more and gone direct. Sometimes you get what you pay for!

1/3 of the luggage...Emergency Exit 2...packin' the bus...the gang...
Tootsie watches our bus almost get creamed by another bus...scooters

We made it to My Tho, and checked back into our first hotel. Except for Glinda and Oz, the rest of us got our original rooms back (and the leaking / non-working bathroom shower issues were resolved in our absence. Hooray!) On the street in front of our hotel, along the riverwalk, flower vendors set up rows and rows of flowers being sold for New Years. And, almost every shop had flowers placed on either side of the front door.


We decided to head back for another boat tour. It took a few minutes to convey to the boat tour company that we wanted to do a different tour--but once we were understood, they put together a personalized tour for us. Since it was a holiday weekend, the boat tours were packed; however, our custom tour deviated away from the tourist hotspots (the islands we had previously visited.)

Boat ~ Tootsie gets her Karaoke on
MarcoPolo shoots a palm-tree arrow ~ banana-leaf bracelet ~ sticky goatees
sausages drying in sun ~ house ~ ginormous pig at farm
mud skipper ~ coconut toast

We boarded a boat and headed from the mainland to the island. Our tour guide asked if we wanted to hear a song on the way, so we politely said yes. He grabbed a microphone and started singing, "Nothing can change my love for you...you ought to know now how much I love you...one thing you can be sure of...I've never asked for more than your love..." He was so genuine and passionate in his song--but hello--awkward, super-cheesy moment! It was hard not to laugh! He passed the microphone to us, and insisted everybody loves to sing. Tootsie pretended to take one for the team (but we know she's a ham and loves to karaoke!) On the island, our guide took us on a nature walk. We walked single-file along a simple 2 1/2 foot wide path. Our guide stopped to rip off sections of palm leaves, which he taught us to shoot like an arrow. Then, he ripped a banana leaf into a strip and made a bracelet. He ripped the tip off a sticky plant, and gave the girls goatees. As we passed another plant, he stopped and picked a few leaves, which were velcro-like on the underside. He arranged the leaves into a smiley face on Monte's t-shirt. He rolled a section of banana leaf into a tube, and when he blowed into it, it sounded like a newborn baby's cry. We continued walking and stopping whenever something caught our eye: mudskippers along the bank, pig pens in someone's yard (the ginormous pig had human-like green eyes!), etc. When we returned to the boat, our guide gave us fresh coconuts to drink.

Velcro leaves ~ floating hotel
bees ~ coconut tree vases ~ crossing a suspension bridge
crossing a bamboo bridge ~ feeding crocodiles
grubs for lunch

We stopped for lunch on one of the islands, and noticed grubs on the menu. No matter how hard we tried to convince Oz to order them, he didn't want to try them! After lunch, we headed over to the choc-o-dile (as our guide pronounced it) farm. We fed them chunks of meat, which was speared onto fishing lines. Once again, the fence was extremely low, and we realized that with one false move, WE would be the crocodiles lunch!

On the way home, we stopped at Co-Op to buy groceries. Since it was the night before a holiday, the store seemed especially crazy. We tried to find the ingredients for making salsa, but the ingredients weren't available. The only canned tomatoes we could find were tomatoes canned with fish. We opted for making Pico de Gallo. In the produce department, we discovered that you had to stop and have your produce weighed, bagged, and tagged. We couldn't find tortilla chips...so we improvised with Pringles (trust us: NOT even similar!) It made us realize and appreciate the variety we have when shopping in the United States. As we were walking around, people gawked and stared at us. We heard a familiar voice call out to us, and it was The Travel Agent's Brother, who was shopping with his Mother. It was nice seeing familiar faces in the crowd! After we left the store, Brother accompanied us outside and hailed a taxi for us, which we appreciated very much.

Hailing a Cab: Marco, Monte, Tootsie, Brother, Oz

For dinner, we made the tragic mistake of returning to the restaurant directly across the street from our hotel. Since our hotel only serves breakfast or drinks, this was the only option available. Plus, in our bus travel, we had forgotten how truly rotten this restaurant was! We were the only customers (bad restaurant sign #1), and the staff scowled at us as we came in. AFTER we ordered we suddenly remembered, "Hey...wasn't this the awful place from before? Why are we eating here?" We noticed a salt/pepper blend on the table, which Tootsie jokingly said it had ground up seafood in it...and wouldn't you know it, we noticed a whole, microscopic dried fish in the blend. Once again, we found someone else's dried food on the spoon. To top it off, Tootsie ordered "fried rice with PORK" which came out as "plain rice with SEAFOOD" (the menu was written in Vietnamese with English subtitles, so we're assuming that line got lost in translation.) The rest of the food was not noteworthy, either. Honestly, going hungry would've been preferable.

We tried to counter-balance the nasty dinner with something good: kem (ice-cream.) Our hotel had a little cafe, that was open, but dark. We walked in and sat down, and ordered. They turned the lights on, and we realized we were in the Fun House of Kem. The walls had striped wallpaper: pink or blue. There were many strange named items to choose from: "Valantines" Night, Keep Forever Dream, Love Boat, and Clown Faithful (pictured below.) We sat, fishbowling, inside the kem cafe, as people on the street walked by and blatantly gawked at us. One teenage girl walked directly into a New Years tree because she was staring so much! Tootsie couldn't stand the pressure of it all, and wigged out! (See the next post...)

Fish in salt bowl...Clown Faithful kem...Tootsie wigs out

Tootsie Nears Her Breaking Point or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Being Insane

Saturday, January 21, 2012
Posted by Tootsie

An email sent by Tootsie:
In a fit of temporary? insanity last night, I, Tootsie, flirted with and dang near reached the edge of the precipice of my rational thought process. It had been a busy day... the 1.5 hour trip back to My Tho turned out to be a 3+ hour trek, full of being told to get on one bus, crammed in with other smelly travelers, only to be told to unload all our stuff into another bus and cram again into the bus with 30 of our newest bff's. Then after a great island boat tour we went to the co-op again to get things to prepare for Tet. The place was jam-packed, no sardine-packed, with people and us 6 Americans. To say we stood out is an understatement. People would try to sneak up on us in an aisle to sneak a peak. Some giggled, and some hid from us or looked at us like we must surely be lost. I was really irritated when a store employee came and took the green onions that took a lot of effort to find, right out of my hands. I found out it was because she had to weigh them....my apologies to her for the instantaneous, mean thoughts I had about her. I went to pay for my items and some rude lady cut right in front of me and didn't even think twice about it. While the gang was facing the madness, Oz and Glinda got some food at the restaurant attached to the store. I didn't get time to go and since I didn't eat anything at lunch--you know, strange that coconut worm and crocodile aren't exactly on the top of my palate-- I was super hungry by the time we went out for dinner. There are not many places to eat around here, soon after I nearly fell down the stairs in our hotel, we opted for the close restaurant-- right behind our hotel. We had been there once before and the food was a crapshoot then, so I don't know what possessed me, besides possibly fatigue and brain starvation, to go there again. Long story short, my "fried rice with pork" ended up being fried seafood of every kind as long as it looked nasty enough for me to wretch internally with steamed rice on the side.

So, after hat adventure we got ice cream at the shop inside our hotel. After about the 10th person walked by and gawked at us like animals in the zoo, I was D-O-N-E. Can anyone guess what I did? I started making faces at the people going by.

This is a crazy time of year and the streets are full of street vendors and people. I mean one girl walked into a tree, literally walked her face into a tree because she wasn't looking where she was going because staring at us was a much better choice. I scared one little girl so bad, she hid behind her mother. And the kicker is.....I didn't feel bad at all! I was tired of being in a different place, being taken advantage of, being judged for being a large American, and I was HUNGRY! I made all kinds of faces at those people-- fishy kisses, the "I'm watching you" signal like Jack Nicholson in Meet the Parents, and I do believe I even threw some crazy chair dancing in for good measure. The feeling has eased, but I have realized how spoiled and blessed I am to live in the US, where there are all kinds of people, so now one really stands out like a sore thumb, there's variety, and I can do pretty much whatever I like and Ainokea what anyone else thinks. So I'll conclude this with the a heartfelt and tender.....GOD BLESS AMERICA! My home SWEET home!

--Tootsie

New Year's Eve

Sunday, January 22, 2012
Posted by TwoLively

We're back in My Tho. The internet is slightly better here...although we're having problems loading pictures. We are heading to The Travel Agent's family's house, where her family will teach us how to make some New Year's Vietnamese food. Then, we stay up until midnight to welcome in the New Year...complete with fireworks, etc.

LATER:
Today was "Tet"-Eve (does that holiday exist?), the Lunar New Year's Eve. We loaded into a taxi, and headed 8-miles down the road to The Travel Agent's hometown. Our taxi had a flip-down TV, and the taxi driver watched an opera-like musical as we drove. He kept turning it up louder...and louder...and louder! He corroborated my theory that horns are an integral component to driving. As he drove, he honked his horn non-stop--which made sense, and we understood when the road was thick with scooters. However, we all noticed that he would randomly honk the horn when the road became empty, without a car in sight, too. So as we drove it was: Honk! Turn up TV! Honk! Turn up TV! There were no air-conditioning vents in the back of the mini van, so Glinda thoughtfully cracked her window so we wouldn't pass out from heat exhaustion. The driver noticed that, and quickly zipped the windows up AND put the parental safety lock on, so we couldn't unroll it again!

Driver watching TV ... Dumped at side of road

After about twenty minutes, the driver pulled over to the side of the road, and motioned for us to get out of the cab. We were in front of some sort of watering hole, and a group of men came out to the front porch to stare at us. We stood for about five minutes, and had no idea what was going on! Suddenly, we saw a woman marching toward us. I thought, "Here comes the neighborhood busy-body." She waved her arms, and we started to follow her. I thought that maybe she felt pity on us, and was taking us to her shop. I wondered aloud if we should be following her (I thought we were headed to her restaurant--and then how do we politely explain thanks-but-no-thanks, we needed to leave?) MarcoPolo, my husband, answered that I should chill out; we weren't going on a death march. But who really knew? It turned out that this woman was our sister-in-law, The Travel Agent's Aunt (Monte didn't recognize her...busted!), and she was showing us the way to a side road. As we walked down the side road, a man, woman, and child on the scooter came toward us. To our surprise, it was The Travel Agent, Brother, and our little nephew (a natural-born scooter rider!)

We stopped at The Travel Agent's Grandmas home, where Grandma, Aunties, Mom, and The Travel Agent were preparing traditional Tet/Lunar New Years food: Bánh tét (mung beans/pork fat filling) and Bánh tét chuối (banana filling) These fillings are inside a layer of sweet rice, which is then wrapped in banana leaves, tied with a series of intricate knots, then steamed for 10 hours.
After discovering we don't have the knot-tying knack, we took a walk down the road to the family's farm land. The Travel Agent's Uncle owns most of the land; Brother and Sister farm a smaller section, while other sections are rented out. On their land they grow coconuts, star fruit, bananas...but their primary crop is pennywort. It's a quick-growing, versatile plant that can be juiced into a drink, added to stir-fry, etc.

Walking...Uncle's bathroom (poop drops down and feeds fish)...coconuts
Pennywort...TwoLively tastes Pennywort...ducks
Rabbit hutch...pennywort field...house

In Vietnam, it is common to bury your ancestors on your land. Here are some photos of the family's graves:

Ancestor's graves

The Grandma's yard is very beautiful. An Aunt & Uncle live with her, and Uncle does the gardening. He certainly has a green-thumb, and his bonsai trees were amazing!

Grandma's beautiful yard ... Water pots to catch rain

Back at the house, The Travel Agent broke out chocolate: M&Ms, Reeces Peanutbutter Cups, Hershey's Kisses--a heavenly taste of home! We also snacked on dried fruits, and candied roses, too.

Chocolate...Candied Roses

Then, some of us succumbed to the afternoon heat, and kicked back for an afternoon siesta.

Sleeping Beauties...

For dinner, The Travel Agent's Mom made us Pho. It was absolutely delicious--we LOVE her cooking! (We did not take pictures because we were to engrossed with devouring it!) Brother made some spicy shellfish. The Grandma's house has a secondary kitchen that is off the main kitchen, and it has wood fueled stoves. 

Wood-fueled stoves...pork and egg for tomorrow's dinner...shellfish

After dinner, an Uncle drove us to their church. Their priest is a famous singer, and he's built a very nice, modern church. For New Years, it's decorated with tons of lights.

When we returned to the house, an Aunt paid tribute to deceased relatives: their father, and his father. She lit incense for each one, then bowed to their photograph, and placed the incense next to the photo. Our little nephew copied what she did. The family is Catholic--but they have cultural Buddist traditons.

Auntie and Nephew pay their respects

At Grandma's house, the porch wraps around the front and side of the house and is pretty much an extension of the home itself. The two front doors and multiple side and back doors remain open during the day to allow air to circulate. As we were visiting in the living room, Tootsie noticed something big, black, and fuzzy fly in the side door, through the house, and out one of the front doors. She was still processing this when she looked at MarcoPolo and said "Was that a bat!?" Marco gave an immediate, "Yes, I think that was a bat." which was followed by Tootsie exclaiming: "SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!..... No LITERALLY, shut the front door...and the side door....and the back door.....!!"

For the evening's entertainment, Oz wowed the crowd with a few card tricks. Then, we played Bingo with some of the Aunties and a teenage cousin. Tootsie kept on winning--but the last round was Blackout, and MarcoPolo won. Then, we played another traditional New Years game, where you place your bets on different characters, roll several dice, and the winner doubles their bet.  

We had a hard time staying awake (even with our afternoon naps!) so around 11:00 PM, Uncle drove us back to our hotel. On the way home, we passed an area a few blocks from our hotel where masses of people were gathered to party. We caught our second wind, and by the time we got to our hotel, it was close to midnight. We stood out on the balcony of our 6th floor hotel, and watched 3--possibly 4--fireworks shows. The fireworks were very impressive; so many fireworks going off simultaneously.

Chúc Mừng Năm Mới

Monday, January 23, 2012
Posted by TwoLively

Chúc Mừng Năm Mới / Happy (Lunar) New Year! As you've probably read, we are in Vietnam, celebrating Tết (the Vietnamese Lunar New Year.) It's the most important and popular holiday in Vietnam. People save their money all year long in order to celebrate this holiday. This year--2012--is the year of the Dragon.

For days, we've heard this ABBA song everywhere: Happy New Year (MarcoPolo is quite the lyricist; he changed the words "Happy New Year" in the song to "Chúc Mừng Năm Mới" because it's the same amount of syllables.) For a fun local version, check out this link.


Another song we heard quite a few times was this little gem, also a song for New Year's. Tootsie may have heard it a little more than anyone else... it was one of the songs that played continuously in the "gift shop" portion of the fish sauce factory. Talk about Post Traumatic StinkyFish Disorder!

We started off our New Years Day by heading to Grandma's house. We sampled the food that was made the day before. The Travel Agent's Mom showed us how to cut the roll--with string--the same way our moms cut cinnamon roll dough! (Except our moms aren't that agile, and need to use two hands on the string.) The banana roll turned a dark pink/red on the inside. The pork one tasted just like refried beans!

Mom cuts the roll

We forgot to mention a few interesting things. Yesterday, Sunday, we heard the church bell ring. Every Sunday, whenever it's time for Mass, there's a warning bell, telling the people to get to church, followed by a final bell. Also, every morning and every evening, there are speakers (mounted to poles in the street) that blare out news messages to the people. 

To begin the Chuc Mung Nam Moi ceremony, the relatives changed into their nicest clothing. We didn't know to do that, and we felt like dirty slobs! Then, Grandma lit the incense for the ancestors. The family members took turns approaching Grandma and offering kind blessings to her: health, happiness, etc. In turn, Grandma gave them a blessing, plus a red envelope with about 20,000 dong ($1.00 US.) At the end of their ceremony, they asked us to participate. As couples, we took turns approaching Grandma (and, fortunately for Glinda & TwoLively, our "better half" gave the impromptu speeches.)

As we visited with the family, we heard the beating sound of a drum growing louder and louder. The Dragon Dance was headed to the house! The Travel Agent's teenage cousin was one of the dancers (in the head of the dragon.) There were three sets of boys who took turns inside the dragon. The dragon followed a young boy (dressed as an old man) who waved a paper to incite the dragon. The dragon/old man danced through the yard, then weaved in and out of the house, and around again. Previously, the family hung an envelope with money high above the door, and at the end of the dance, the dragon had to reach up and "eat" the money. The dragon (teenage boys, remember) had to drink any beer left on the table (they went to 20 houses that day--and at one house had to drink 6 beers!) The first Dragon Dance was for the house/family, and the second dance was especially for us, to wish us luck. All-in-all, the dancing lasted at least 1/2 hour.

Shortly after the Dragon Dance, the Priest and a group of men came to the house for tea/well-wishing. We left as they arrived, to give them a private visit, and walked down to Mom's house. While we were there, it started to rain. The rain combined with the afternoon heat lulled us into naps (Glinda and Tootsie dozed in hammocks on the porch; TwoLively and MarcoPolo napped in the bedroom.) We reluctantly woke up, and headed to Mom's house for dinner. We ate the yummy pork and eggs she had made the day before (Later: I read online that pork with boiled eggs is a Vietnamese New Years dish.)

Afterward, we shared some toys and miscellanous things we had brought for the family. This was quite the ice-breaker, and we all had fun laughing and demonstrating the toys to each other. The Aunties all wanted a hairbrush/handmirror set that Tootsie had brought, so they decided that whoever could guess Tootsie's favorite color (blue) would win (Sister.) Brother and Dragon Dancing Cousin both wanted a tiger head that was on a stick (when you squeeze the handle, the tiger's mouth clamped shut.)

Sharing these items really made us realize how lucky we are to be able to have so much junk! Our kids are spoiled, and they don't even know it. Plus, we are lucky to have stores that even carry toys (all the toys we've seen here in Vietnam look like dollar-store quality toys...but don't have dollar store prices.) I could go on and on about this subject, but I already have enough American Guilt from the War Remnant Museum...

After dinner, one of the Aunties noticed the scar from my ICD (pacemaker/defibrillator) and wanted to know about it (in Vietnam, the people have no qualms inquiring about iffy subjects...like age, weight, etc.) The other Aunties, then Uncles, gathered around and had a lot of questions. They were shocked and amazed that I could have such a device. They were stunned at the price ($250,000+) and that I only had to pay $1500 (our co-pay.) In Vietnam, if you don't have cash, you don't receive medical help and they let you die. One Auntie told the story about the head of the hospital's son-in-law being in a scooter crash; nobody recognized him, and since he didn't have cash on him, he died. We found out that in Vietnam, the cost of having a baby is about $300--and the typical person makes about $3500 per year. One of the Aunts had two babies that died as she gave birth, because she was in labor too long. They told us that in America, we have options, but in Vietnam the only option is to die. Once again, we grumble about our insurance and co-pays...but we really are fortunate.

Funny Thing To Remember:
The Travel Agent and Brother were talking about how smart Oz was with computers. The Travel Agent knows that Oz is forgetful, and needs Glinda to navigate him through life--and told Brother this. In return, Brother said something along the lines of: "Oh, I get it. He operates on 2 gigs instead of 4 gigs..." (Later: When we heard this, it cracked us up! We think Oz's moniker should be changed to "TwoGig"!)

Hoo-Rah for My Tho (me tah)

Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Posted by Tootsie & TwoLively

We were awakened by the sound of drums beating (oh the joy of having end-facing rooms...Tootsie and Monte's room is located midway down the hall, so they were oblivious and slept in.) When the drum beating didn't fade or go away, we walked out to the balcony to investigate. Below us, at the nasty restaurant directly across from us, they were having a Dragon Dance--and what a dance it was! (Too bad there weren't any patrons around to see it!) Since Dragon Dances bring luck, and this restaurant needs all the luck it can get, they had about four different dragons dancing. Here's to 2012, Nasty Restaurant!

The only people watching this dance (aside from the restaurant staff) was US--6 stories up!

For our last day in My Tho, we decided to lounge around, and do some last-minute shopping. Glinda, Oz, and Monte returned to the Islands Tour building, to re-visit the souvenirs previously seen there. Tootsie, MarcoPolo and TwoLively headed to a nearby market located just over the bridge from our hotel (discovered completely by happen-stance a few days earlier...and it wasn't packed wall-to-wall/bursting at the seams with people!)

In the marketplace, we found a modern-ish, large, two-story store. The top floor housed books, shoes, and clothes, while the bottom floor was comprised of random items ranging from packaged and fresh foods...to ceramic banks...to foot massagers...and even to lamps, advertised as superb graduation gifts.

Baby in bicycle carrier...crossing the bridge
Cat Tongue?...toys...clocks on sale
Pretty decorative stones (Later: we found out they're inscribed with sad messages)...
Denver, CO--a lil' off course...graduate (pictured on box) hugs mom when given lamp

One item that caught our eye (and our funny-bone) was a two-in-one toothbrush and key ring holder--two items that naturally go together--all in the shape of a hand. The toothbrush went into the wrist hole, while the keys hooked onto a curled pointer finger.

White Elephant gift, anyone?

While we were shopping, the rest of our group met up with us. Glinda later told us, that on their way to the market she heard, "More white people!" from behind her. She turned around to see a Caucasian lady. They both laughed and went on their own way.

MarcoPolo and TwoLively were shopped out, so they returned to the hotel -- while the rest of the group explored the store's second story. To their delight, there were some really awesome shirts featuring Engrish phrases.

Don't hate me cuz you ain't me...Donald Duck from Taxus...Urple
Crrolina...This Is (This is what? Don't leave us hanging!)...Nature Sucks Use More Cars
Toe socks...Strapping hair onto mannequin...Cat Tuong (Tongue?)--shown again, 'cuz it's funny

For our last meal (Wow! That sounded so hard-core, death row...change that to last <restaurant> meal), we all agreed we had to have lunch once more at the restaurant (with truly delicious food) where Brother had taken us on our first day in Vietnam. Due to the Tet holiday, the taxi companies were either understaffed, really busy, or both. It took our hotel concierge over 30 minutes to get in touch with a company that could take us to the restaurant. When the taxi arrived, we were surprised to see that instead of a van (the usual mode of transportation for a group our size) we were given an economy-sized car....the only one available. Once again, we were forced to consider our "American Girth," and consider how we'd all fit into the car. Our ever-smiling hotel concierge (seriously--that guy always smiled!) explained "2 trips." Reluctantly, our group split, and parted ways. Monte, MarcoPolo, and TwoLively went first--while Tootsie, Glinda, and Oz stayed behind for the second trip.

In Group One (the taxi bunch) Montezuma was on the cell phone with his wife, The Travel Agent. She told him to pass the phone to the driver, so she could explain in Vietnamese where we were headed, and reiterate the need to go back for the second group. However, we were flabbergasted when the taxi driver refused to take the cell phone! To our relief, we made it to the restaurant...but we weren't quite sure if the taxi was really returning for Group Two...or if they'd already found another taxi...and we worried they'd arrive at a different location altogether!

Back at the hotel, Group Two anxiously awaited the return of the taxi driver. They knew it was only a 10 minute ride...but about 30-45 minutes had already passed (which seemed like an eternity to both groups!) Group Two wondered if something was lost in translation...and they wondered if they'd ever meet up for lunch. Sure enough, the driver eventually returned for Group Two (we wondered if he took another job in between ours?) and both groups made it to the restaurant.

Lunch was yummy! Oz and TwoLively both ordered Elephant Ear Fish (Travel Agent's family raises Elephant Ear fish--and the name has nothing to do with it--the fish are large, and so are elephants??) The fish came out propped upright, (scales, fins, eyes, and teeth intact) between some wooden sticks made to look like reeds in a pond.

The waitress saw the stunned look on everyone's faces, and was kind enough to offer, "Do you need assistance?" Each of us were thinking, "Uh...yes, of course! The fish has teeth, and it's looking at us!" The waitress proceeded to grab a single chopstick, and to our amazement, she fillet the fish with the chopstick. She wrapped the perfect pieces of fish in rice paper, added a piece of pineapple, some vegetables, and once again using the chopstick, rolled it into an spring-roll shape. Instead of showing us one or two, she stood there and kept rolling and feeding us, until there was nothing but just bones, fins, and heads left. (BTW: Oz heard you can eat the fins of Elephant Ear fish...which he tried...and just because you can eat just about anything, it doesn't make it palatable!)

Elephant Ear Fish

Stuffed, we headed back to our hotel (two taxis...simultaneously...both taking "long, scenic routes" home...cha-ching, cha-ching...but we all made it back!) We took well-needed naps!

Later that afternoon, we headed to the Travel Agent's Grandma's home for dinner. Earlier in the day, TwoLively had taken a water pill--but didn't realize she was already dehydrated due to the heat--so the water pill further dehydrated her (but she didn't realize it at the time.) So TwoLively decided to stay behind and recoup in the air-conditioned hotel. Based on the previous evening's discussion on healthcare and TwoLively's pacemaker, the family took her absence very seriously and were worried.

Nephew playin'

After dinner, the Travel Agent told us that Uncle had moved the Mai tree we had given the family (for New Years) to the highest ancestor altar. This was a very big honor, and showed great respect to our family.

The tree is to the left...

While at Grandma's house, The Travel Agent's Aunty showed Glinda and Tootsie how to cook rice paper. We were given flat, shiny rice papers to put over a fire (we used a small metal container with wood for fuel, and a grate over the top.) We continually flipped them with chopsticks. Tootsie was again schooled for not doing it right: her rice papers were fluffy in the middle, but hard on the sides, and brown all over! The Aunty's papers were light, fluffy, and a beautiful golden color. But in Tootsie's defense, flipping slippery papers quickly with chopsticks is much more difficult than it sounds!

Cooking rice paper...

Monte and Son...Playin' with Teenage Cousin's cellphone...The Travel Agent stranglin' Monte

We were delighted when once again, we heard drums approaching. Dragon Dancing Cousin and his teenage Dragon Dancing Posse were headed--once again--for the house! Although our 2 1/2 year old Nephew was initially terrified during the New Years Dragon Dance, over the next few days he'd warmed up to the idea (he would see Dragon Dancing Cousin's practice costume in the house, and point at it--his nonverbal way of asking to see it again.) So, this dance was slated for our Nephew, but we were lucky enough to enjoy it, too!

Dragon Dancing Cousin

The Dragon Dance for Nephew

Dragon Dancing Cousin vs. his Dad (wearing practice Dragon)

The Family told The Travel Agent that while they'd enjoyed the discussion from the night before--and wanted to talk some more--they were concerned for TwoLively (who, for the record, was very comfy and doing just fine, watching Hollywood movies on cable TV back at the hotel) The rest of the group was sent back to the hotel, to make sure TwoLively really was okay.

Upon arrival at the hotel, Ferris--oops--TwoLively was feeling much better, and even pulled herself from her sick bed (haha!) to watch Monte show his devious-breakin'-the-law side of himself: launching paper airplanes from our seventh story hotel room towards the disgusting-food-encrusted-chopstick restaurant across the street. (We thought about writing a note on the airplane: Your food sucks!) After an allegedly very successful first flight (as reported by Monte and Oz), a second flight was attempted for the whole group (minus Glinda who was already sleeping.) It was a DUD! but we were intrigued by something we noticed in the doorway of the yucky restaurant: a man sleeping on a cot! We don't know why he was doing this; perhaps he was a guard??? For our amusement, we decided that if Monte hit the sleeping man with an airplane, it would be worth a lot of points. But, alas, it never happened!

Montezuma skillfully folds the plane (while Tootsie and Ferris check out the sleeping guard)...The LAUNCH! 

Ignorance Is Bliss...

Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Posted by Tootsie & TwoLively

Today was our last day in Vietnam. Since our flight didn't leave until 11:55 PM, we planned to hang around our hotel until noon, then head to Grandma's house for the rest of the day. The Travel Agent reminded us to eat lunch before we headed over. Unfortunately, we were so busy doing nothing (sleeping in, Skyping, blogging, hanging out) that we ran out of time to walk across the bridge in search of lunch (TwoLively: Ok--I admit it's my fault! I realize I often run Mormon-Standard-Time--LATE!--and, yes, MarcoPolo reminded me multiple times that we'd run out of time. Oooh. The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy.) Since we ran out of time, the only option was to eat lunch at the Nasty Restaurant across from our hotel--which really wasn't an option at all! So, Tootsie headed back to her room to enjoy a delicious SlimFast Bar...and Monte, TwoLively and MarcoPolo scrounged up the last of our emergency rations: a can of tuna and crackers, and a can of chicken and crackers. We sat at our hotel's we-only-serve-breakfast-and-kem-at-night empty restaurant...enjoyed the balcony view...and pretended those crackers were waaay more delicious and far more heartier than they really were!

At noon, Taxi Drivin' Uncle picked us up, and drove us to Grandma's house. Oz, Glinda, Tootsie, and TwoLively decided to walk the short distance out of the neighborhood, and back into the town. TwoLively was searching for the mysterious candied roses we had sampled at New Years...but, unfortunately, we did not find them (we later found they are sold exclusively for New Years.) We DID find a meat vendor, with all sorts of fly buzzin', meaty carcases rotting in the sun. Tootsie was especially grossed out by a skinned goat head for sale. TwoLively saw a duck nestled with a few chickens, and thought it was particularly cute the way the different species were snuggled together...until she realized their feet were tied together, and it was a forced snuggle!

Believe it or not, we found our way back to Grandma's house! We had a delicious lunch of Chicken Mushroom Soup, and as we ate, we told The Travel Agent about our walk. She told us that earlier in the morning, she and her Aunt visited those vendors. In fact, she helped pick out the very chicken we were eating in our soup! Talk about fresh...and TMI!

We spent a good deal of time outside on the porch, rearranging, repacking, and weighing our suitcases. We tried to pare down on the non-essentials, so The Family was gifted our Costco-sized bottles of Tums, Immodium, Handi-Wipes, etc. All that packing tuckered us out...which Uncle noticed. He swept off the floor, then brought us kiddy-sized princess pillows, so we could nap on the floor. We shamelessly sprawled out all over the living room floor. The cool tile felt so cool and refreshing. We now understand why dogs sprawl out on the tile!
Travel Agent's Aunty-in-Law (a wife by marriage--her husband is Grandma's son) is a weaver, so we asked to see her wares. She showed us her supplies (huge bolts of plastic, cut about an inch wide), then she showed us a storage room full of finished handbags. She generously invited us to pick out some totes for ourselves! We chatted, and learned that she's been weaving for about ten years. She visited a relative, saw them weaving, and asked to learn. At first, she worked as a subcontractor, and sold bags to the wholeseller. Today, she is the wholeseller, and she has subcontractors working under her! The bags we chose were handle-less, so we watched in awe as she expertly braided plastic into handles. Then she did a series of knots, which secured the handle to the handbag. Tootsie and Glinda tried their hand at handle-adding (but not TwoLively--she wanted her tote done right! ha ha) The Aunt makes up to 15 bags per day. Small bags sell for 20,000 -- medium sized ones, for 30,000 (with double-stripes) or 75,000 (with triple-stripes.) We found out that the bags we'd previously seen on our walk into town were her bags--very cool! We wondered how she even made the bags. She graciously demonstrated how to make a bag from start-to-finish. In the video, watch how her hands fly! It was fascinating to watch!

Meanwhile, Grandma demonstrated for the guys how to weave hats. She is 71 years old, and she weaves about 10 hats per day, about 5,000 each. She sells the untrimmed hats to a wholeseller, who machine-cuts a circle around the brim, and machine-fold and sews the edge down. Grandma gets the reeds for her hat from a neighbor, who dries them out, and machine presses them until they are flat (we walked by him on our walk, and he gestured to show us what he was doing.) These type of handcraft skills are amazing to watch, and important to preserve.

Before we left, Uncle removed the fruit from the altar, and presented it to us. We were told by The Travel Agent that it was a sign of deep respect for us. We were very touched, of course. We are their wacky American family (complete with our I-Love-Lucy moments.) Sometimes ya gotta just wonder if they think we're commitable. It was a great experience to travel to Vietnam to meet The Travel Agent's family. We all agreed that we'd love to have Brother and Sister come visit us!

All-too-soon, it was 5:00 PM, and time to head to Ho Chi Minh. Due to our excessive, clunky luggage, a mini bus was hired to transport us to the airport. With all the extra space available, there was room for our Goodbye Committee: Brother, The Travel Agent, and Monte to ride with us. During the 1 1/2 hour ride, the driver blared a musical--LOUD--but thankfully, he kept his eyes on the road, and didn't watch the video! Our Goodbye Committee walked us as close as they could, outside the main doors, by the fan club area (which was packed and crazy.) They pointed the way inside, and tried to give us last-minute instructions. After we walked inside, we stood in a group huddle, trying to figure out our next move. None of the signs were in English...and which counter was ours? We looked back and saw our Goodbye Committee standing outside the glass windows. The anxious look on their faces read, "They have no freakin' clue..."

Fortunately, the airport was fairly empty inside. We'd arrived at the airport 4 hours early, which was far too early for counter to be open. So we parked our Great Wall of Luggage next to us and sat...and waited...and waited...and waited. Then we waited some more. When midnight rolled around, we boarded the plane for Leg One of our journey home: Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam to Narita, Japan.