Friday the 13th

Friday, January 13, 2012
Posted by Tootsie & TwoLively

Somewhere along our travels, we lost track of the day of the week. We pieced together that today was Friday...as in Friday the 13th! We asked if that superstition existed in Vietnam, and our driver related that a few years ago a bus (like ours) with 13 people on it, crashed on Friday the 13th--and there was only one survivor. (Reminiscent of the Large Marge story...) We gasped, and did a quick head-count...and were pleased to realize we had 10 people aboard. Whew!

Urban Legends...not just for Americans!

As we were driving along, we noticed a funeral procession (we saw one a few days earlier and thought it was a New Years float.) Funerals are considered "good luck" in Vietnam (except if you're the unlucky guest of honor.) Driving a bit further, we saw a wedding (which looks crazy-similar to a funeral), which upset The Travel Agent, since weddings are bad luck. Fortunately, as fate would have it, we happened upon yet another funeral procession, and luck was on our side once more (but not for Tootsie...read the next post about her unlucky experience with non-toilet toilets.)

Funeral procession...

Today's travel time was supposed to take half the time of yesterday's trip... Instead, it was about 5-6 hours of washboard road fun! Tootsie remarked, "I didn't know there was going to be some mild bull riding." There was no rest for the weary; anyone trying to lay their head against the window to catch a few zzzz's, risked injury due to either blunt force trauma or shaken-baby-syndrome. We discovered that when our driver, Cousin, says "another hour" he really means another three hours or so!

Previously, we failed to mention that we've named our bus "Cu'a Thoat Hiem" -- the exotic name printed on our bus windows. We felt rather clever and proud, until we asked The Travel Agent, "What does it mean?" She laughed and told us: "Emergency Exit." So, there ya have it folks. We will be crusin' down the rough highway in our trusty friend, Emergency Exit (because that name is just plain funny!)  

Emergency Exit

Today we had "a comin' to Jesus..." Quite literally. Vung Tau is home of "Christ of Vung Tau" aka by the locals as "Giant Jesus." It's a HUUUGE statue! We slapped on our hiking shoes and off we went. The steps were either extremely close together, or wide apart--an uncomfortable gait, not made for the American stride. About 100 steps into the excursion, TwoLively said, "I don't think I can make it..." and Tootsie replied, "Good thing we are with Him, through whom all things are possible." That opened up inserting every corny, religious-based quip into the conversation that we could think of, like: "I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it," and "Endure to the end." Halfway through the hike, we stopped for a water break, and we noticed there was a statue of Jesus with the Woman at the Well. It made us think of the scripture, "Drink of this everlasting water, and ye shall thirst no more." Somebody (MarcoPolo!) had the clever idea of giving Jesus a bottle of water to offer the Woman. We huffed and puffed, but we ALL made it to the top--817 steps--and we're happy to report, "There were no empty chairs at our table."

For those over-achievers who wanted to go the extra mile, there was another set of stairs inside of Giant Jesus (leading to the shoulder area.) Half of our group decided to go inside (Oz, TwoLively, Tootsie, Brother, Monte) and the other half decided to be lazy slackers (Glinda, MarcoPolo, Sister, The Travel Agent.) The stairwell had marble steps, short ceilings, and narrow passageways. The spirals seemed to be neverending--and when we finally reached the end, Tootsie exclaimed, "Thank you sweeeet Baby (Giant) Jesus!" (a movie reference to Talledega Nights.) The view was spectacular!

(Notice the water bottle?--Smack dab in Row 2)

After Giant Jesus, we toured a Fish Sauce Factory. We would include pictures, but the freakishly tall, gangly guard told The Travel Agent, "no cameras allowed." Apparantly, letting fish sauce spoil outdoors is a top-secret process, and they don't want anyone stealing their trade secrets. About a minute into the tour, Tootsie couldn't handle the intense aroma, and bailed out of the tour (remember she had the "tender stomach" aka "Monte's Revenge"/car sickness goin' on.) As she tried to exit, she was corralled into the unairconditioned gift shop that was attached to the factory, that smelled equally bad. To top it off, the same Vietnamese song blared over and over the loudspeakers (at least she thought it was the same song?) She kept pacing, desperately trying to find an escape route--while dodging a Fish Factory Attendant who followed at her shoulder, continually tapping and grunting, "Eh, eh?" while gesturing to dried squid and other delectables. Tootsie managed to escape, but the gangling guard hunted her down, and made her return to the gift shop of seafood horrors.

Meanwhile, back on the Tour, the rest of the gang speculated that perhaps no cameras were allowed due to the numerous health code violations that were noted. If you love fish sauce, here's where you stop reading.

The Fish Sauce pureed muck is placed in blue plastic barrels, uncovered, out in the open sun. It turns from ground-fish-brown to a rather strange purple color. Curiously, we noted there were no flies around. Perhaps it was due to the rancid stench--so bad that even flies didn't want to stick around? Oh, no. The tour guide told The Travel Agent, with great pride, that the factory sprays heavy-duty pesticides, which kills all the flies. We won't even consider the thought of this leeching out of the ground, and into the barrels... Another interesting thing we noted was the stagnant waste: a thick, visceral sludge juice, pooled in the next area...literally adjacent to the fish sauce. Kudos, however, to the woman at the sample station who donned a pair of food-handlers gloves before offering the samples. We tried pieces of fish dipped in Fish Sauce; it looked like crunchy, fried fish, but to our dismay it was jerky-ish...oddly chewy...not the best texture. But we politely gulped it down (and didn't ask for more!)

MarcoPolo wisely remarked that like Westerners, all tours end in gift shops...winding, never-ending giftshops. As we navigated the giftshop maze, we were trailed by the same Fish Factory Attendant, who tapped us with, "Eh, eh?" and pointed out heaping piles of dried fish something-or-others (previously declined by Tootsie.)

The last activity was Sand Sledding -- but like The Real World, this is the part when people "stop being polite, and start getting real." Since most of the travelers didn't participate in this event (leaving it on The Bucket List) it's a sore subject...'nuff said.

Red Sand Dunes...Sand sledders a few sand hills away...

Tomorrow's activity will be a Family Mud Bath, which hopefully will not be as creepy as it sounds.

Lunch: Oz's fish! Notice the stack of Wet Wipes on the table: most restaurants offer them--and, as we discovered, charge extra for them--so, we've stopped using them!

The Crème de la Crème of Fun...

Friday, January 13, 2012
Posted by Tootsie

Just for fun, who can guess the best experience one can have while on the road in a developing country? As many of you know, my tummy and I don't always agree. We had already been traveling over pot-filled laden, scooter infested, wash-board roads and my tummy had HAD it! I finally decided to sit in the very front of the bus, next to the driver in hopes of easing the nausea from the consistent tossing and turning in the very back (where I had been previously).

We arrived at the sand dunes for some sand sliding when what I thought was mild fried rice mixed with the motion sickness and it all caught up with me. Since the rest of our group had started up the dunes, I was left to the mercy of The Travel Agent's Sister. She asked the lady who owned the store we parked in front of if she had a toilet I could use. This lady looked at me like we had asked for her first born and reluctantly told Sister where to take me. This was the equivalent of an alley way with 4 stalls, and I use the term stall quite loosely here, all with makeshift doors. I'm already thinking that this was not going to end well and then I opened the first "door." All that was inside were two bricks and the floor, with a small hole in the corner wall.

You know, it's kind of interesting what looks great to you when you're in a bad way... "Door" number 3 had the actual squat toilet. What a relief! But seriously, who is relieved to see a squat toilet? I hunkered down, was even able to keep my pants on this time, and was also relieved when Sister brought me some toilet paper. It wasn't until later that I found out Sister had to pay 13,000 dong (approx 62 cents) for me to use the toilet and toilet paper! It was worth it in the end, and I even think I've come that much closer to having the thigh muscles to support a good squatting position... Must be due to the bajillion stairs we took up to Giant Jesus today.

LATER: Montezuma happened to nonchalantly mention that a few shops down there WAS a public W.C. (Water Closet -- bathroom!) with real toilets, and running water...but probably not toilet paper! Thanks for the untimely-tip, Monte!

--Tootsie (not Tootie, as previously featured in a typo!)

Since this awkward gem wasn't documented in the blog yet, we thought we'd add it since it somewhat relates to the topic...

Good Morning, Vietnam!

Saturday, January 14, 2012
Posted by TwoLively

We spent the night at a resort in Phan Thiet (near the sand dunes.) The Travel Agent was not happy with this resort, since they didn't give our bus driver free lodging (a customary nicety reciprocated to the driver in exchange for bringing guests to their establishment.) Our entire front wall was basically a window, with a huge curtain to block out the outside world (we hope!) At midnight, we had some drunk Russians (this is a Russian tourist town; they like to travel here for weekend getaways) sit outside our door, and talk/laugh loudly.

Random Musings:The last two hotels we've stayed at have had tile floors, and mysterious spray hoses near the toilet. We thought it was a primitive bidet...but those that tried it, said it power-sprayed with force (and I'll trust their word...!) So now we're thinking they are sprayers for cleaning the bathroom??? The weather here is surprisingly beautiful. It's mid-eighties (?) but there's always a breeze. I thought the humidity would be worse than Hawaii--but it's not. Anyway, we are going to enjoy breakfast (outdoors, under a ramada) and then we'll be boarding Emergency Exit. I'm afraid to ask how long the drive is today...
--TwoLively

LATER:
The drive was about 7 hours, but we stopped at the White Sand Dunes, so maybe the drive was really around 5 hours? Along the way, we passed an area that was known for raising lizards, and we passed the first established military base in the Vietnam War (it's still in use; the Bus Driver's nephew trained to be a pilot there.) It's taking longer to reach our destinations than The Travel Agent planned--which stresses her out because it cut into our sight-seeing time. We weren't able to do Mud Baths today. But we don't care; everything is beautiful, and we're having sooo much fun! Even though we tried rigging up an anti-nausea band (using a bandaid and a fruity Breath Saver), the drive made Tootsie car sick (yet again!) 

At the White Sand Dunes, Oz had the ride-of-his-life on an ostrich. (I hope somebody caught it on video!)

Here are more shots of our group (MarcoPolo jokingly threw his arm around The Travel Agent's Sister, and it kind of freaked her out!)

We tried to take a jeep ride, but as we were loading up, the guys changed the price--so The Travel Agent walked (she's a bitty thing, but she takes no bull.) While The Group strolled around a lake, MarcoPolo and myself (TwoLively) went on a quad ride, which was 200,000 dong + 100,000 tip per person.

I haven't downloaded anyone else's pictures, so you can't see that our quad driver were very young teenage boys. Before we started off, The Travel Agent told my driver 3x that I didn't want to go fast. Sweet-mother-of-pearl, if that was a "slow ride", I'd hate to see fast! There was one sand dune that was The Grand Kahuna of dunes, every time he got near it, I'd start thinking, "not that one...not that one.." But, yes, eventually we did "that one." To top off my terror, there was a sheer drop off on some of the sand dunes...and I'm afraid of heights...and of falling to my death, too! On the exhilirating ride, my sunglasses blew off, but MarcoPolo's eagle-eyed driver spotted them and retrieved them. Our quad drivers stopped a few times to take our pictures. MarcoPolo's driver even ran off, and came back with his-and-her tree branches to hold for props. Thankfully we didn't "kick the bucket" and lived to cross this off our Bucket List. (Shoutout to my sand-duning friend, LeAnne: Are you crazy?)

Rice cakes that actually taste good, Cambodian 500 year old monument ruins, Vietnam War US military base

We ended up in the city of Nha Trang, which has been voted the most beautiful beach in the world. When we arrived, it was raining, which further disappointed The Travel Agent. However, we love rain, too! We're staying at a resort, and our room overlooks the beach, and has a balcony. Tootsie scored the sweetest room: it's the end room, so it has views from two sides! Montezuma ended up with the worst room: the view overlooks the roof of a restaurant. I wanted to point out a few interesting things. In Vietnam, in order to have electricity in your hotel room, you have to insert your key into a outlet on the wall. So, whenever you leave your room, your power shuts off...and. since MarcoPolo likes his room ice-cold, we've had to rig it. Also, the door to our room is opaque glass. At night-time, when our room is lit up, I'd rather not be a silhouette, so I try to block it. Everyone in our group got Ricky & Lucy beds--except the single lady, Tootsie, who got a HUGE bed! The best way to describe our beds is "bento boxes" 'cause they are really small. These beds aren't as long or wide as a twin bed (and our blanket is narrow, not even the width of the bed...it's more like a towel!)

Our Bus Driver wanted to guide us to a restaurant that served Western food. As Tootsie puts it, he marched us up the beach. Not "walked"..."marched"! We marched a good mile, in the pouring rain, and then we marched back, and he dropped us off at The Louisianne Brewhouse. Everyone was happy with the food. MarcoPolo and Monte had pizza that looked AND tasted like pizza! Tootsie had real mashed potatoes. And TwoLively's fish didn't have a head or tail. Glinda was happy with mint and chip ice cream. Oz was happy, since his beer was dirt-cheap AND tasty! Double-score!

We browsed in the shops on our way back, then part of our group went out for drinks, and part went back to their rooms. Directly under our room was a stage, so we stood on our balcony and watched break dancers spin in the rain (gives new meaning to "break" dancing.)

Emergency Exit (which the hotel makes us park on the sidewalk) / Happy New Year banner / Break Dancers

  

Rub-a-Dub-Dub... Lots of Griffith's in a Tub!

Sunday, January 15, 2012
Posted by Tootsie
Tootsie here:
Here in Nha Trang, there is plenty for the family to do! We got 2 nights here and made the most of it. Our hotel was the happening place, as mentioned in previous posts. There was more breakdancing last night and other fun games like a balloon blowing contest and people wearing blind folds, spinning around, and then trying to run to and break a clay pot with a stick.

The morning was spent at the beach where most of the group squealed with delight at the fun to be had playing in the shorebreak and Tootsie just squealed with anxiety. One feeble attempt at getting past the break ended in a minor wipeout and that was it for Tootsie! She was quite content sitting or walking along the beach taking pictures of everyone else's occational wipeouts. The water is warm-- comparable to the waters in Hawai'i. NOTHING like the cold waters in California. It was a little cloudy at first, but then the sun came out. Most of the gang were "kissed" by the sun pretty good, even though Tootsie went around barking orders for everyone to lather up in sunblock for fear of the evil Melanoma Monster. (Yes, even she got burned too.)

We found the KFC again and introduced The Travel Agent's family and our bus driver (now dubbed cousin Hai... explanation will come later) to "American" food. The food did come with mashed potatoes that did taste like the real deal... however there was only a spoonful, literally a spoonful, of the stuff.

After lunch at KFC, we were off to the mud baths with a quick stop at the Ponagar Ruins. The ruins were built by the Champa people (an indiginous group, comparable to the Native Americans. They were taken over by the Vietnamese, but there still some Champa's living in the area today) between the 9th and 13th Centuries.The ruins are comprised of many little shrines that have alters inside.

(TwoLively's note: I took a picture of my plate of fish--3rd row picture. Doesn't the onion garnish look like a chopstick? I wondered where my other chopstick was! I will NEVER get this chopstick stuff down!)

Next on the agenda was the Tam Bum Mud bath/Spa. After much deliberation between The Travel Agent and the mud bath staff, we "settled" for the VIP package (about $19 per person.) Most of us were not coerced into wearing the little stretchy terry cloth shorts and shirts that the spa offered, but Monte was all about wearing the terry cloth! We had to get two tubs-- one for four people (Group A: The Travel Agent, her brother and sister, and "cousin" Hai aka the bus driver), and one for six (Group B: Monte, Oz, Glinda, MarcoPolo, TwoLively, and Tootsie). We were led up some stairs (that had some sharp rocks, some big, bulky, smooth rocks laid into the cement to "massage" your feet--owww!) to the top of the mountain. There, Group B piled into a tub the size of a twin-sized bed full of mud the consistency of chocolate milk. (It was a Willy Wonka dream come true!) Then we got buckets and poured mud all over each other. Talk about family togetherness. Tootsie remarked: "This is reeeaaallly awkward but kind of awesome all at the same time!"  After awhile (we were told to soak for 20 beautiful mud-filled minutes), the mud started to settle in the bottom of the tub. It was all slimy and slippery! Next to us, there was a clay pot full of water and it had a dipper in it. We were using it to pour over our faces to get the mud out of our mouths. It wasn't until one of the next stops that we noticed a sign next to the pot and asked The Travel Agent to translate. It said "This water is for your feet." Yep, we had been using the foot rinse water on our faces! Next, we rinsed off in some mineral water showers. Trying to get all the mud from all those crevices turned out to be quite a challenge. (A challenge we are still fighting this morning!) There was mud in places we didn't even know we had! After the rinse, we were led up the ouchie stairs again to more tubs filled with mineral water. After we got into the steaming tub, an attendant dropped in giant scortching tea bags, and told us to steep for 45 minutes. There were bananas, green oranges, and pineapple to completment the bottled water (some brand that looked like it said "Vodka) we were offered. After 45 minutes of that, Tootsie was getting a little loopy and luckily it was time to move again.

We walked down the owie steps to a building where we were each taken into a room for what we thought was a foot and shoulder massage. Tootsie was asked her age, told she was very beautiful (as the masseuse patted Tootsie's face) and then asked if she was married. When Tootsie said no, the masseuse asked "You marry Vietnamese boy????" which was followed by another no from Tootsie. The masseuse also whispered in Tootsie's ear.... Tootsie misunderstood and thought the masseuse was telling Tootsie to take her top off. Turns out the masseuse was offering "You like full body massage? You tip me, ok?" Apparently they are not supposed to do that, thus the reason for the whispering. Meanwhile, in MarcoPolo's room, his masseuse told him how handsome he was and asked if he was married. The masseuse even said our own Marco was as handsome as Ho Chi Minh (because he had a goattee too)! After the massages we all went down to a warm swimming pool and a hot waterfall. The very last station was pretty much a cold human car wash. Glinda, Tootsie, and TwoLively walked right in but got trapped by a guy who blocked the exit. Just as an aside, this fella was rockin' some fancy white shorts that were completely see-through. All-in-all it was a great experience and we all felt completely relaxed and drooled all the way back to the hotel.

LATER:
Tootsie was the only one who brought a camera into the mud baths (someone had to document the muddy-squishy-uncomfortable-family-togetherness). Due to the steam that was experienced during the time spent steeping in the tea, Tootsie's camera took one for the team, and the flash stopped working. A couple days later it started working again...all on its own! It must have been a "sweet baby Giant Jesus" miracle!

To Da Lat...or Bust!

Monday, January 16, 2012
Posted by TwoLively

Today we are boarding Emergency Exit, and Cousin is going to drive us to the city of Dalat. It is a mountain area, and we hear the temperature is about 68 degrees. We are leaving at 11:00 AM, and we were told we won't get there "until dark" and there will be no bathrooms along the way. Seeing how our previous excursions took twice as long as usual, we aren't sure how to gauge this one...

LATER:
Suprisingly, it was only a 3 hour drive. Heading out, we made a pharmacy pitstop, and The Travel Agent helped Tootsie buy some Dramamine--which really, really helped.

Tootsie, The Travel Agent...and the "little blue pill."

Then, we stopped at a bakery and picked up some lunch for the road. 

Meat pie (shaped like chicken leg/thigh)...Banh Bao (steamed bun with pork filling)...sausage-hot-dog-thing...Vietnamese sandwich ("cheese" on top is actually dried chicken)...Pig-shaped cake...pizza (spicy sausage, chili sauce)

Five minutes into the drive, a bicycle pulled in front of our bus--but somehow, Cousin managed to avoid an accident. Oz says Cousin has "ninaja-like reflexes," and we whole-heartedly agree.

The road from Nha Trang to Dalat is one continual winding road. We were so high into the mountains that we were surrounded by clouds! We stopped for some scenic pictures, and some crazy daredevils went precariously close to the edge (and, yes, it made me cry to see this, 'cause I'm afraid of heights--so I had to wait in the bus.)


Our hotel is...well...not as pictured in the brochure. However, Monte likes this hotel BETTER than the last hotel (maybe 'cause he doesn't have a view of roof rats?) Unlike the last hotel, this hotel doesn't have a balcony view overlooking the ocean, so we're feelin' kinda sad... There isn't an elevator at the main floor level, so you have to hike to the first floor (an American "second floor") to catch it. The stairs are spaced nicely though, so it's not-so-bad to take the stairs (and, thankfully, Brother carried my heavy suitcase up for me!) Once again we have Ricky & Lucy beds. I thought it was kind of cute the way they had princess canopies above them--until The Travel Agent came into our room, and said, "Oh, you have mosquito nets, too." Princess canopies...mosquito nets...meh! Oz and Glinda had a few extra visitors in their room: a lizard, and a giant mosquito! (Guess the mosquito nets and the Permethrin spray we lugged along will come in handy here...) Oddly, the bathroom drainpipe empties directly onto the bathroom floor. There is no air-conditioner or heater (so I guess we like whatever temperature our room may be. Fortunately for MarcoPolo, our room is cool.)

This evening, we went to dinner. Oz and MarcoPolo ordered Anteater from the "Wild Beasts" page of the menu. C-R-A-Z-Y! It was 200,000 dong -- which was kind of pricey -- but, unless you're Andrew Zimmern, how often do you get the chance to eat Anteater?


After dinner, Tootsie went back to her room to nurse her persnickety stomach, while the rest of us walked to the market across from our hotel. Right now, it's 9:00 PM, and the garbage truck is emptying garbage in the alley behind us. It's weird to see hours that are kept in Vietnam.

Oz with weasel POO coffee (If offered coffee by Oz, don't drink it! We hear it's pretty CRAPPY. Badum-dum! Thank you, thank you--I'll be playin' Vietnam all week)...Duck eggs preserved in straw and salt...
Pitcher plant...Brother & new friend...Monte, Sister & The Travel Agent looking at watches.

It's taken three hours+ to upload pictures -- and often, the upload bar REVERSES, and GOES BACKWARDS (True story! Weird, huh?)

***Monday: We're going to breakfast at 6 AM our time, so we may possibly SKYPE earlier, around 4:30 PM your time. Or go to G&Gs and try calling our computer. Hopefully we can get thru -- the internet connection here is horribly BAD!***

Da Lat of Stuff We Did Today

Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Posted by TwoLively

We woke up early this morning, so we could head to a breakfast buffet. The plan was to meet in the lobby at 6:00 AM. When we stepped out of our room, into the hallway, we found the entire second floor was unlit and dark. So, we carefully tip-toed downstairs to the lobby, and it was dark as well. The hotel was locked down tight--the front doors were locked, with a security screen rolled down over the front doors and windows. Across the street, the marketplace was bustling with shoppers.

Tootsie & MarcoPolo in dark lobby (the photo looks well-lit...but it wasn't!) ~ Shoppers in the marketplace (they start at 3 AM)

At the breakfast buffet, we recognized most of the items: pho (chicken or macaroni), rice, french bread baguettes, eggs, watermelon, hairy-cherries, etc. There was a mysterious item wrapped in a banana leaf, and since it's a buffet, why not try it? There was mysterious stuff inside the center...mung beans?...bird guts? My imagination started running wild!(My sister-in-law said it was pork--but by then, I had grossed myself out!) We noticed a sign at our table that said leftovers incurred an extra charge--but it must've looked like we ate enough on our plates, 'cause our table was cleared and we weren't charged extra.

Next stop: straight to the Crazy House! (Ya'll know that's not much of a stretch for me...) About ten years ago, a Vietnamese woman architect started building Crazy House: a fantastical, Dr. Seuss-ish treehouse, with spiraling stairs, seashell drapes, and wacky rooms. (The sign notes: she isn't crazy, per se--she's just eccentric and misunderstood.) We wish we would've known, that for only $30 a night, you can stay in one of the themed rooms at Crazy House. As we climbed and explored the giant treehouse, we realized that once again, being tall Americans, the low side walls only came up to our thighs, which really doesn't protect us. Crazy House is still under construction, so paths dead-end, with great big drop offs! MarcoPolo, being a true Griffith, had to find the W.C. -- and we had tofrantically race thru the confusing maze to find it -- and of course, they were out of toilet paper, leaving Marco stranded until I finally found Tootsie and the spare roll of toilet paper! 

Summer House of Last Emperor
Bao Dai was the last emperor/king of Vietnam. He and his family spent summers at Summer House from about 1926-1945...but the decor looked like it very well could've been 1970! Considering how great the emperor's position was, the house seemed small and simple. The crown prince had a separate bedroom from his siblings, and he was allowed to eat dinner at "the big table" with his parents and guests, while his siblings dined in a small adjacent room. The architect who built the palace was French, and materials were imported from France. Interestingly enough, there were silver forks in the display case (NOT my nemesis, chopsticks!)   

Smurf booties..."Big Table" and adjacent room...bedrooms...garden view...relaxation room...Da Boss at the Presidential desk

It's amazing how much you can get accomplished when you start bright and early! It was only noon, so we decided to break for a much-needed nap. Afterward, we headed to the Orphanage. Previously, Tootsie and TwoLively made a pact to sneak out a few babies in Tootsie's backpack--but, to our dismay, there were no orphans! (TwoLively actually wanted twins...but was told that due to long-held beliefs and superstition, twins aren't a viable option...) The orphanage had been established by a Catholic woman, but a few years ago, the government assumed the total responsibility for orphans (so that's why this orphanage no longer has children.) However, there are older orphans who work at the orphanage; they learn a useful skill--such as embroidery--and they produce goods for resell.

We stopped at a Pagoda in Da Lat. We saw Bonzai trees that were 200 years old!

We took an Aerial Tram ride up the side of the mountain. It was about a seven minute scenic ride. The tram was very quiet, and the rode smoother than we expected.

The view ~ Sister, The Travel Agent, Brother ~ Our attempt at an "artsy" picture.

We stopped at someone's house, to see "The Strange Revolving Table in An Nhon." In Victorian times, someone bought a table, and noticed that whenever they placed their hands directly on the table top, it turned! You can guide the table with commands (right/left/faster/stop.) Bwahaha...SPOOKY! Back in Victorian times, the table only turned when people of the same sex placed their hands upon the table...but, as times changed, the table has kept up and adapted, and it currently allows mixed sexes to participate in this parlor trick.  

The last stop was the cheesiest, love-themed park: Love Valley. It was romance, Valentine's Day, and hearts o' plenty rolled into one cheesy ball. There was even a Love Shack (Love Shack, baaa-b-yyyy...gotta sing it like the B-52s!) The guys tried their hand at shooting Cupid's Arrow (alas, none hit the mark.) Most of the group walked down to a lake to ride Swan Paddleboats (walk down an endless amount of stairs, paddle vigorously for an hour, then trek those same stairs, and walk uphill...OR...sit on your duff, enjoy the scenic view, and eat ice-cream: was there really a choice?) There was a spot where lovers could place a padlock on a fence, to symbolically lock their love together, forever. I asked MarcoPolo if he wanted to buy a lock, and he said, "No, I'm looking forward to death." Had he uttered that a few minutes earlier--on the scenic overlook--his wish could've been granted!

Ooey-gooey love picture rops...archers...more "artsy" pictures
(last picture: like how we spelled "Mesa"? We're awesome like that!)

Regarding the food:The food is (mostly) GREAT! It's just a bit difficult to get what you really want to eat, because we read a title in the menu--and it's usually written in Engrish, so it's incorrect. For example, instead of a milk-based dressing on my salad (as the menu stated), it was soy sauce. It's strange how each person's food comes out as it's made, one-at-a-time. And, it's perplexing how two people can order the same thing, yet the food looks totally different!

Laundry:You can only flip your dirty underwear so many times, plus the funk of our dirty clothes was getting to us, so we had our laundry done at this hotel. (Everyone else was doing their laundry in their rooms...but our bathroom doesn't have a tub, nor does it have a stopper for the sink.) For about $15.00, our laundry was washed, neatly folded...and MarcoPolo's shirts were ironed! (Heck, he doesn't even get that at home!) 

Later! --TwoLively

Da Lat - Last Day

Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Posted by TwoLively

This morning for breakfast, my sister-in-law, The Travel Agent, saw something on the menu that she knew I would like (the menu was written in Vietnamese.) It was sort of a spicy beef soup served with a crusty french bread baguette. She was rather disappointed because her mom makes it as a thick gravy, instead of a thin soup--but, since I've never had it to compare, I thought it was delish!

We started by going to Flower Park...which is a park...that has...flowers...as the name implies. Boy, there were a lot of stairs! The flowers were very pretty. The poinsettias had silver droplets of water on their red velvet leaves--so beautiful!

We visited Datanla Waterfall, which features an attraction called Coaster Bob. We weren't really sure what kind of a ride it was--but, we knew the ride led down to the waterfall, and it was either a) take the ride or b) take the stairs. Hello, no-brainer! To our sheer delight, Coaster Bob was an amazingly exhilarating, thrilling (German-made) bobsled ride. The track was 800m long, and it curved and winded down through a forest. Each coaster rider controlled the speed of their individual coaster with a lever-breaking system. The bobsleds could go up to 40km per hour, but felt much faster! It was sooo much FUN--Tootsie proclaimed it was the best thing she had ever done in her life! We rode the ride twice (and, if The Travel Agent, and Glinda weren't waiting at the top for us, I'm sure we'd STILL be on the ride!) The scenery was beautiful, and as the mountain air rushed by, it made you feel so alive! On the second ride, my seatbelt came undone, which added a whole 'nother element of thrill to the ride. Today was the one-year anniversary of my pacemaker/defibrillator combo, and what a memorable way to celebrate (technically, my doctor said I'm not released to ride rollercoasters--sudden thrills can "give me a therapy" aka shock the hell outta me--but she never said anything about riding bobsleds... ;)

We had so much fun riding Coaster Bob that we almost forgot to gaze at this:

Waterfall view ~ MarcoPolo with some sort of Yeti creature (locals--before and after us--posed for free, but good ol' MarcoPolo had to pay for his pose! Sucka!)

For lunch, we stopped at a restaurant that advertised they served Western food (liars!) MarcoPolo ordered "chicken legs." We assumed--falsely--that it would be the delicious pink glazed chicken that The Travel Agent's mother makes. His dish was the last to arrive, and it was a plate of....chicken FEET! Boney, clawey, grody, tangled chicken feet! There are some women who can visualize their way to a pain-free birth; bring on the Morphine, 'cause I'm not that kind of woman! I tried so hard to pretend there weren't chicken feet on his plate. I even tried looking away. Nevertheless, I started gagging and retching (which the kitchen staff found amusing!) BTW: MarcoPolo said there was no meat; it was like eating crunchy chicken skin. However, the flavor was one of the best flavors he's ever tasted in his life!  

Bon Appetit! These pictures were taken AFTER I left the table... (Look at how the feet are slightly padded. Gross, no?)

Food is always a crap-shoot. Tonight we went to the Chocolate Cafe, a Western cafe, for dinner. They offered croissant sandwiches, crepes, Vietnamese food, pizza...something for everyone (avocado shakes were even on the menu, except it's out-of-season.) The prices were reasonable, and the food quality and presentation was fantastic! I ordered shaken beef, which looked exactly like the food I had for lunch, which went by a different name (not that I'm complaining: it was yummy at both places!) I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter what you order: restaurants in Vietnam will give you what they want to give you! Oz told me that the next time I order, I should ask for "the usual" -- that, or shut my eyes and randomly point at something on the menu. To our surprise, rice rarely comes with our food; it has to be added ala carte.

Random Things:Tonight as we were walking along, MarcoPolo saw the sign "photocopy" and thought it read "pho-to-copy." We better get home soon because we're losing our language!

Tootsie tried to thank The Travel Agent's Sister (in Vietnamese) and used the wrong inflection (her voice went high, instead of staying level), and accidentally told her, "You don't have lice." Um...yeah...that too!

 -----

We are leaving DaLat tomorrow at 5 AM, and heading back to Ho Chi Minh (Sai Gon.) It's about 120 miles as the crow flies...4 hours by train...and 7-9 hours by car, depending on traffic...so you KNOW we're looking forward to it! We'll stay in Ho Chi Minh, while The Travel Agent and her siblings will go back to their parents farm. We'll be taking on Sai Gon...gulp...alone (so there's bound to be some adventure there!) We'll stay there for about 3 days, then we'll meet up with the family for New Year's festivities.

--TwoLively

Hello Sai Gon....

Thursday, January 19, 2012
Posted by TwoLively

At 5 AM, we hopped aboard Emergency Exit and headed to Ho Chi Minh (formerly known as Sai Gon.) Instead of traveling down the coastline, we headed through the central portion of Vietnam--so we hoped the road would be better. For the first hour, we navigated precariously windy mountain roads in the dark (which was a mixed blessing.) The roads were just as bumpy, and it was about seven hours of nonstop vibration, interspersed with the occasional catch-some-air-and-bounce-right-out-of-your-seat kind of potholes (words just can't convey how rough it truly was... Tootsie called it "4-wheeling on crack".)

We stopped for breakfast and a potty break (NOT a squat toilet--whew!) at a truckers convenience store (more upscale than that sounded... Better than a Flying J's or Loves.)  We bought some freakishly large and sweet grapefruit sections. Tootsie was jonesing for some chocolate, so she daringly bought a few chocolate-looking muffins from the display case. After we left and were traveling down the road once more, Brother noticed the muffins; he told us the store had refused to sell him the SAME muffins because they were "too old." Not good for Vietnamese, but apparently *just right* for Americans! Rrrr! The muffins were discarded, and Tootsie was out 14,000 dong (less than a dollar--but still--it's the principle of the thing!)

The central portion of Vietnam has dense foliage, and looks like the Vietnam we hear about/see in the movies. We passed an area where rubber trees were grown--and we saw workers tapping rubber from the trees. We stopped to take pictures of ginormous boulders that appeared out of nowhere. And, because our amusement always revolves around someone else's gastric distress: MarcoPolo experienced the panic of needing a restroom. When cousin said "10 minutes" until the next rest stop, we felt fearful--but to our amazement, Cousin's "10 minutes" was only 11 minutes (although that last minute seems like an eternity when you're the one in distress!) To our evil delight, MarcoPolo got to experience the joys of a squat toilet. And, at this pitstop, we also saw some people...grooming???...where Tootsie's previously uttered phrase "you DOn't have lice" would be appropriate.

Huge grapefruit sections...ginormous rock formations...
rubber trees...lice pickin'...his-and-her-toilet paper pose (we learned if you don't carry your own tp, you are out-of-luck!)

We stopped for lunch and shopping at a place that looked like a small mall (more like a VF Factory Outlet.) Before you entered the main store, your purse had to be Saran Wrapped into a safety sealed bag. Tootsie's backpack wouldn't fit into the shrink-wrap machine, so she opted out, and headed to Pizza Hut! For the record, Vietnamese shop the same way they ride scooters--crazy, line jumping, cart crashing, small space fitting, goal-driven shopping. The Travel Agent purchased some Mamy Poko Pants, aka diapers, for our 3 year-old nephew. She accidentally forgot about kilograms vs. pounds and bought diapers sized for a 10 year old! Meanwhile, Cousin rushed us along, so we didn't have time to linger at this mall (we started to connect the dots and realized Cousin always had a hidden agenda; we noticed Cousin didn't put our luggage under the bus, and saved this cargo space for the stuff he bought along the way. Then, on the way to Sai Gon, we detoured to his house so he could drop off his purchases. On the last day, Cousin had already been paid, so he was ready to conclude our day early!)

We finally arrived in Sai Gon...sweltering hot (no breeze), crowded, busy, noisy, dirty...a big city, indeed! Our hotel was slightly more expensive than previous hotels ($40 vs. $22.50) but sooo worth it! Our rooms were extremely clean; they had either jacuzzi tubs or multi-head walk-in showers, flat-screen tvs with cable, round eco-flush toilets, blow-dryers (finally!)--and it included a free breakfast buffet to boot. Glinda wasn't thrilled with big city life, and we all agreed that 1 1/2 days in Sai Gon would be enough, and as much as we'd miss the deluxe accommodations, we would leave a day early.

Shower...bed...ergo-toilet...blow dryer

We unpacked and headed across the street to the Ben Thanh Market. There were signs warning us of pick-pockets, and The Travel Agent had previously warned us many times to watch our valuables (I don't carry money on me...but hey, who couldn't use a good free groping!) It was late afternoon, and the place was crowded, sweltering hot. As we walked down the tiny, overpacked aisles, there were shouts of "Madame! Madame! Many size! Many color! Big variety" or "Big Budda, whatcha lookin' for?" and the vendors physically groped and grabbed every single one of us, trying to pull us into their stall. It felt like we were walking through a spanking machine!

We didn't videotape our initial walk-thru, which was extremely grabby and intense. Later, when we got our bearings and decided to videotape, the aisles weren't as packed as the first aisles, so we couldn't recreate the intensity. With that in mind, here's a video (imagine it x10!):

The stench inside was overwhelming: we smelled pockets of air that reeked of b.o., bodily fluids, fish, feet--fortunately this blog doesn't have smell-o-vision! (If a locker-room and a brothel had a baby...) We gamely walked up and down a few aisles, and nearly passed out due to the heat...and smell...and claustrophobia... Meat and various live sea-creatures sat out in the open air. Vendors napped in booths; some hired extra helpers who gave the literal meaning to "working under the table." We saw pedicures and manicures being given in the middle of aisles, and right next to food preparation, too. So many interesting sights to behold. It was stimulation overload! On the way back to our hotel, Glinda got goosed!

Shoppin' - Woman literally "working under the table" (see her leg?) - Sleepin' on the job
Flowers - Crowded aisle - Glinda with creepy dolls

Try crossing this traffic:

For dinner, we finally found a good Pho restaurant--a chain called "Pho24." We didn't realize there was one located almost across the street from our hotel, and we ended up walking over a few blocks, to a different location. However, it was well-worth the (unnecessary) walk! It was probably the most delicious and safe thing we've eaten so far. Glinda, our non-Pho lover, ordered a porkchop, which she had to eat with a spoon!

Buh-Bye Sai Gon....

Friday, January 20, 2012
Posted by Tootsie & TwoLively

As previously mentioned, we were eager to see the sights of Sai Gon--then head back to the spot where we originally began our trip, the city of My Tho (because it was quieter and more laid-back...our safe, happy place.) We brainstormed and decided which Sai Gon attractions we'd like to see (earlier, Cousin told us there was a silkworm farm in Sai Gon, but unfortunately we couldn't find any info on where it was located.) The top Sai Gon attractions we wanted to see were within walking distance of our hotel.

"Hi" Napkins (when found) are always folded into small triangles...Oz translating into his phone...
Our navigators debate the course...Street vendors (notice the intricate carved messages on the watermelons...and the coconuts had carved bases, too)

We started off our day by heading to the Presidential Palace. It was a huge building...with no air-conditioning, and no breeze! The main elevator was out-of-order, so we had to fight a throng of school children for the remaining elevator. There were microphones for the tour guides to use, and since we were on our own self-guided tour, Oz made use of the equipment. To our surprise, we heard Oz's familiar voice broadcast over the speakers, welcoming us to his palace. Later, Tootsie defied the posted sign, and *almost* touched the piano. Tootsie and TwoLively opted not to trek down to the bunker, so they found some chairs outside in the shade, where there was a breeze. While Tootsie contemplated running into the royal fountain, TwoLively fell asleep with her mouth wide open (twice--and nearly fell out of her chair!)

The last pictures are of the underground bunker, and the tank is a replica of the one that crashed thru the gates,
overtaking the Presidential Palace...the fall of Sai Gon.

After causing enough rucus at the palace, we decided to punish ourselves by going to the War Remnant Museum. There is much to say--and not to say--about "historical truths" served up with an (American) family-sized side of guilt. Who knew that all birth defects in Vietnam stem from one source: Dioxin (aka Agent Orange.) Nasty, terrible stuff! The full recap of this museum will be discussed in an open forum, at Family Travel Night. On a sidenote: we knew the museum closed for lunch, but we were caught offguard when precisely at noon, a bell rang, and all the museum lights went out!

Airplanes...a mother crosses a river with her children to escape...a soldier cries when he learns people he'd talked to minutes before were killed.

On the walk home, we decided to stop by the Water Puppet Show, to pre-purchase our tickets. We knew we were in the general area, but the map did not show precise locations. MarcoPolo would like our readers to know we WERE NOT lost! We simply did not know the specific location... Here is where I'd like to record a smarmy, special note for all posterity to read:

                                            On Friday, January 20th, TwoLively was right! 

In a moment of serendipity, I turned the map, noticed the side street, and realized it was tucked back in the middle of the block. Yes, bless my sweet dippity, I was right!

The Water Puppet boxoffice was closed, but we sat out front anyway, perplexing the guards, trying to catch our breath and cool down. It was 1 1/2 hours until the boxoffice opened again, so Oz and Monte graciously offered to walk back to the boxoffice to purchase our tickets (while some of us had a DELICIOUS nap!)

As we walked home, MarcoPolo and Monte trailed slightly behind the group. We passed several hair salons, where the women wore suspiciously low-cut, micro-mini pleather outfits. Our suspicions were confirmed when MarcoPolo and Monte later told us that they--the BALD men--were offered a "shampoo."

We stopped at a frozen yogurt shop, and most of us ordered club sandwiches, which had a piece of ham, egg, and cheese--but was tasty nonetheless.

Resting on steps..."Safe" place to shop...Dragon hedge...
"Club" sandwich...Shampoo, baldie? (Marco took pictures on the sly)

In the evening, we made it back to the Water Puppet Show. Before it began, we sat down outside and waited. As we were standing up, we noticed RATS! running along the wall behind us. We went inside the theater, and the puppet show began. The stage was a pool of water, with a screen behind it. On either side of the stage, there were people who played instruments, sang, and did the puppet voices. Above the stage, we saw a rat run across the curtains and down the wall...which kept us on edge for the rest of the play. The play was a series of individual, unrelated scenes. In one scene, two birds meet, an egg pops out of the water, then it turns into a baby bird. In another scene, farm workers planted crops, and green rice grass grows up out of the water. The water puppets did interesting things, too--like blow smoke out of their ears. We were always wondering: how'd they do that with puppets?

Return of Cousin

Saturday, January 21, 2012
Posted by TwoLively

We needed to get from Sai Gon to My Tho. We contemplated going by water taxi, mini van, etc.--but we had too much luggage to take. The Travel Agent talked to Cousin, who said he would take us. He had another tour group to pick up, but he could take us as well. We paid him directly (instead of the bus company), so we realized Cousin was doing a lil' side business...except Cousin didn't factor in our luggage, and there wasn't enough space on Emergency Exit. After a long, animated discussion between Cousin and someone from the bus company, we were told our luggage would be sent separately. NO WAY! We refused to part with our luggage, so we were moved to a second, larger bus. The bus driver made several stops, packing more and more backpacking granola crunchers onto the bus. Oz sat at the front of the bus, guarding our valuables, while the cool kids sat in the back! Tootsie tried to nap (aka: she shut her eyes, mentally removing herself from the situation)...MarcoPolo zoned...and Glinda and I (TwoLively) gabbed the whole way! We realized how sad it was that we had to travel halfway across the world to really talk and get to know each other better. Sigh.

We were told there would be a mandatory 1/2 hour rest stop break, where we could buy tourist souveniers--handicrafts by handicaps (it actually said something to that effect on the sign...so we're not that bad. Ok, yeah, we are.) Tootsie was feeling a bit Oppositionally Defiant, and when they announced everyone needed to get off the bus, she refused to move. Cousin, to his credit, came onto our bus, and turned on the A/C for us. He kept saying it was ok, because he was a friend of the driver. He also removed the sticker that MarcoPolo had sneakily placed on Monte's back (he literally had our back.) So, Cousin tried to get back in our good graces...but we still aren't going to invite him to the Family Reunion this year.

All-in-all, the 1 1/2 hour drive took over 3 hours! We paid 1/4 of the price--but we all agreed we should've paid more and gone direct. Sometimes you get what you pay for!

1/3 of the luggage...Emergency Exit 2...packin' the bus...the gang...
Tootsie watches our bus almost get creamed by another bus...scooters

We made it to My Tho, and checked back into our first hotel. Except for Glinda and Oz, the rest of us got our original rooms back (and the leaking / non-working bathroom shower issues were resolved in our absence. Hooray!) On the street in front of our hotel, along the riverwalk, flower vendors set up rows and rows of flowers being sold for New Years. And, almost every shop had flowers placed on either side of the front door.


We decided to head back for another boat tour. It took a few minutes to convey to the boat tour company that we wanted to do a different tour--but once we were understood, they put together a personalized tour for us. Since it was a holiday weekend, the boat tours were packed; however, our custom tour deviated away from the tourist hotspots (the islands we had previously visited.)

Boat ~ Tootsie gets her Karaoke on
MarcoPolo shoots a palm-tree arrow ~ banana-leaf bracelet ~ sticky goatees
sausages drying in sun ~ house ~ ginormous pig at farm
mud skipper ~ coconut toast

We boarded a boat and headed from the mainland to the island. Our tour guide asked if we wanted to hear a song on the way, so we politely said yes. He grabbed a microphone and started singing, "Nothing can change my love for you...you ought to know now how much I love you...one thing you can be sure of...I've never asked for more than your love..." He was so genuine and passionate in his song--but hello--awkward, super-cheesy moment! It was hard not to laugh! He passed the microphone to us, and insisted everybody loves to sing. Tootsie pretended to take one for the team (but we know she's a ham and loves to karaoke!) On the island, our guide took us on a nature walk. We walked single-file along a simple 2 1/2 foot wide path. Our guide stopped to rip off sections of palm leaves, which he taught us to shoot like an arrow. Then, he ripped a banana leaf into a strip and made a bracelet. He ripped the tip off a sticky plant, and gave the girls goatees. As we passed another plant, he stopped and picked a few leaves, which were velcro-like on the underside. He arranged the leaves into a smiley face on Monte's t-shirt. He rolled a section of banana leaf into a tube, and when he blowed into it, it sounded like a newborn baby's cry. We continued walking and stopping whenever something caught our eye: mudskippers along the bank, pig pens in someone's yard (the ginormous pig had human-like green eyes!), etc. When we returned to the boat, our guide gave us fresh coconuts to drink.

Velcro leaves ~ floating hotel
bees ~ coconut tree vases ~ crossing a suspension bridge
crossing a bamboo bridge ~ feeding crocodiles
grubs for lunch

We stopped for lunch on one of the islands, and noticed grubs on the menu. No matter how hard we tried to convince Oz to order them, he didn't want to try them! After lunch, we headed over to the choc-o-dile (as our guide pronounced it) farm. We fed them chunks of meat, which was speared onto fishing lines. Once again, the fence was extremely low, and we realized that with one false move, WE would be the crocodiles lunch!

On the way home, we stopped at Co-Op to buy groceries. Since it was the night before a holiday, the store seemed especially crazy. We tried to find the ingredients for making salsa, but the ingredients weren't available. The only canned tomatoes we could find were tomatoes canned with fish. We opted for making Pico de Gallo. In the produce department, we discovered that you had to stop and have your produce weighed, bagged, and tagged. We couldn't find tortilla chips...so we improvised with Pringles (trust us: NOT even similar!) It made us realize and appreciate the variety we have when shopping in the United States. As we were walking around, people gawked and stared at us. We heard a familiar voice call out to us, and it was The Travel Agent's Brother, who was shopping with his Mother. It was nice seeing familiar faces in the crowd! After we left the store, Brother accompanied us outside and hailed a taxi for us, which we appreciated very much.

Hailing a Cab: Marco, Monte, Tootsie, Brother, Oz

For dinner, we made the tragic mistake of returning to the restaurant directly across the street from our hotel. Since our hotel only serves breakfast or drinks, this was the only option available. Plus, in our bus travel, we had forgotten how truly rotten this restaurant was! We were the only customers (bad restaurant sign #1), and the staff scowled at us as we came in. AFTER we ordered we suddenly remembered, "Hey...wasn't this the awful place from before? Why are we eating here?" We noticed a salt/pepper blend on the table, which Tootsie jokingly said it had ground up seafood in it...and wouldn't you know it, we noticed a whole, microscopic dried fish in the blend. Once again, we found someone else's dried food on the spoon. To top it off, Tootsie ordered "fried rice with PORK" which came out as "plain rice with SEAFOOD" (the menu was written in Vietnamese with English subtitles, so we're assuming that line got lost in translation.) The rest of the food was not noteworthy, either. Honestly, going hungry would've been preferable.

We tried to counter-balance the nasty dinner with something good: kem (ice-cream.) Our hotel had a little cafe, that was open, but dark. We walked in and sat down, and ordered. They turned the lights on, and we realized we were in the Fun House of Kem. The walls had striped wallpaper: pink or blue. There were many strange named items to choose from: "Valantines" Night, Keep Forever Dream, Love Boat, and Clown Faithful (pictured below.) We sat, fishbowling, inside the kem cafe, as people on the street walked by and blatantly gawked at us. One teenage girl walked directly into a New Years tree because she was staring so much! Tootsie couldn't stand the pressure of it all, and wigged out! (See the next post...)

Fish in salt bowl...Clown Faithful kem...Tootsie wigs out